In Old Country, Krate stand on YOU!

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In Old Country, Krate stand on YOU!

Postby Red_Robot » Sat Feb 28, 2015 4:54 am

You say you have problem with Twank? You say you have problem with Clank?
Okay...I sell to you.

You say you need mobile frame? You say you need good, fast, and cheap?
Okay...I give you one of these...

I sell you Krate.

No, not in crate. Is Krate!

KЯATE HACKWOЯX

We build for you mobile frame.

Image

You buy, yeah?

You Say you need options?

Image

Hatch open and close. Telescope eye go up and down.

You say you need fuel for engine?

Spoiler: show
Image

You steal off of Chub, yeah?

You say you need weapons?

Spoiler: show
Image Image

I sell to you knife and crowbar. I have steel ball on chain.

You need more reach?

Spoiler: show
Image

I have steel ball on longer chain.

OH! You need guns! Why didn't you say so?

Spoiler: show
Image

Yeah, I sell you guns.

You need armor?

Spoiler: show
Image

We make for you shield to hold in front of you.

KRATE gives you options.

Image

They say, "You stand with Twanks?"
I say, "KRATE stand ~ON~ Twanks!"
You see what I did there?

You buy, yeah?
*

*Legal disclaimer? ....We keep legal out of this, yeah?
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Re: In Old Country, Krate stand on YOU!

Postby MoronicCinamun » Sat Feb 28, 2015 10:46 am

Heheh I like it, although thing that catches my eye most is the chainsaw in the last pic.


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Re: In Old Country, Krate stand on YOU!

Postby VitorFaria » Sat Feb 28, 2015 11:52 am

How did you make that big ramp, is that a Lego piece at all?
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Re: In Old Country, Krate stand on YOU!

Postby Atavism » Sat Feb 28, 2015 3:08 pm

General Hezeraiah Twankus wrote:
In the 'Old Country' they had ways to deal with half-literate immigrant bast... God's hooks! Are we transmitting?

Ahem.

It has been called to my attention that yet another disreputable dealer offering clip-job frames has decided, unwisely, to use the pleasing tones of the Twank name to draw the unsuspecting consumer's gaze to their own merchandise. This repeated phenomenon of cut-rate, often unlicensed, frame dealers elevating their own perceived standing by comparing themselves to the established and well though-of brand that is Twanks LLC must cease. I have called upon the Transit Authority to censure all such communications, and I await their reply before I resolve to unleash the full puissant force of Twanks LLC upon all such chicaners.

Let us take for example, the "Krate," which is the latest misbegotten pile of corroded metal to draw my inestimable ire. It is literally a shipping container with arms and legs attached. The only pleasant thing I can say about its manufacture is that whoever harvested the scrap to put it together took the time to sand-blast "Maersk" from its sides, thus saving the proud company- Maersk Intergalactic Shipping- the embarrassment of such unwilling association. My engineers were baffled as to how this machine functioned at all when they examined a specimen captured by one of my efficient and dutiful forward scout teams. Do not misunderstand me, by all rights it should fail to function at all.

To combat this growing swell of rogues slandering the Twankus name and misusing my lawfully held trademarks, I am forced to preparing for total war. I am sad to say that Twanks LLC will no longer be accepting new contracts, and all existing contracts will be allowed to expire without renewal; excepting cases that I personally judge essential to the ongoing well-being of the Solar Terran Empire. All of Twanks LLC's efficient, well trained, and mannerly contractors are being recalled to our home base to undergo training seminars and team-building exercises in advance of this new campaign.

I will no longer attempt to solicit apologies, as so far such civilities have proven wasted on such coarse men. Now I merely issue my ultimatum: Stop.

As always,

Gen. Hezeraiah Twankus




This is fun an interesting build. I never thought I'd see one of those boxes used in a frame at all- much less as the defining piece. That chainsaw is pretty great too. I like how you gussied it up with greebles to look like a functional tool instead of just using the chainsaw piece to do all the talking.
This is a personal opinion that in no way reflects the official stance of Twanks LLC and is personally refuted by the much admired Hezeraiah Twankus
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Re: In Old Country, Krate stand on YOU!

Postby VitorFaria » Sat Feb 28, 2015 3:20 pm

The only way to make it better is making it a transparent orange chansaw!!!
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Re: In Old Country, Krate stand on YOU!

Postby aurlaent » Sat Feb 28, 2015 5:09 pm

VitorFaria wrote:How did you make that big ramp, is that a Lego piece at all?

It might be one of these.
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Re: In Old Country, Krate stand on YOU!

Postby Sovietshadow » Sun Mar 01, 2015 2:01 am

I can just imagine some guy low on parts sifting through his giant tool box, then looking at his tool box and saying "this could work."
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Re: In Old Country, Krate stand on YOU!

Postby Red_Robot » Sun Mar 01, 2015 6:58 pm

Atavism wrote:This is fun an interesting build. I never thought I'd see one of those boxes used in a frame at all- much less as the defining piece. That chainsaw is pretty great too. I like how you gussied it up with greebles to look like a functional tool instead of just using the chainsaw piece to do all the talking.


Thanks! I really loved what you did with your Twanks frames and the ensuing arms race you sparked off. I had to get a piece of that market. I love me some hurdy gurdies. God help me, I do love it so.

The original Krate started off as one of those "mailbox" pieces, with the little hatch in the front that opens up and down. It had a little periscope and an offset gun on the top. I decided to go with the box later because I thought it was funnier for it to be tall and skinny. Plus, Dalek eye.

VitorFaria wrote:The only way to make it better is making it a transparent orange chansaw!!!


Well yeah! That's what happens when you switch it on and the blade heats up!

Originally, I got into Mechaton/MFZ and got into LEGO as a result. But now I am finding my LEGO hobby is taking on an existence outside of serving the game. One of the avenues I'm meandering down these days is fiddling with and customizing minifigures. The nice side effect of that though is most minifigure gear can be used for microscale robots with little adjustment. I may or may not be working on an outlandish minifigure weapon which consists of a giant hammer/chainsaw scythe/recoilless rifle composed entirely from transparent neon orange that fires rocket propelled transparent orange chainsaws. But I can neither confirm nor deny such an onerous rumor....that I just started.

VitorFaria wrote:How did you make that big ramp, is that a Lego piece at all?


It's one of these and one of these. I have a couple sets of them for quick and dirty bridges for terrain. I was going to greeble it up with some railing and such, but my body was asking me why I was taking pictures of plastic instead of being in bed.

Sovietshadow wrote:I can just imagine some guy low on parts sifting through his giant tool box, then looking at his tool box and saying "this could work."


Well pasukaru76 already beat me to that -- And brilliantly so -- almost a year ago. Feast yer eyes!
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Re: In Old Country, Krate stand on YOU!

Postby VitorFaria » Mon Mar 02, 2015 8:58 am

Red_Robot wrote:I may or may not be working on an outlandish minifigure weapon which consists of a giant hammer/chainsaw scythe/recoilless rifle composed entirely from transparent neon orange that fires rocket propelled transparent orange chainsaws. But I can neither confirm nor deny such an onerous rumor....that I just started.


Man, now I need to see this! :lol:
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Re: In Old Country, Krate stand on YOU!

Postby Red_Robot » Tue Mar 10, 2015 3:52 pm

NEW KЯATE HACKWOЯX KOMPILED KATALOG

KЯATE HACKWOЯX is pleased for new offer in Spring Season.

Say hello to my little friend.

Image

This Chib, light duty labor frame.

Image

Chib new stylish design. Good starter frame. Roomy interior. Compact so good on fuel. Jump jets on back make go hop-hop-hop like little cricket.

Spoiler: show
Image Image Image


You buy, yeah?

Okay, now, some people say to me, they say, "Hey Krate, you junk dealer. I should instead buy Twank, or Clanker, or Squib."

I say, "Hey buddy, take it easy!"

In old country there is saying. They don't make them like they used to.

Krate is man of tradition. Krate use them like they used to make. This not junk. This vintage. Reduce. Refurbish. Recycle. Good for environment, yeah?

I pass savings on to you.

Some people say to me, they say, "Hey Krate, you bad guy! You merchant of death. Profit off bloodshed. Hardline rhetoric inflame Frame Wars."

I say, "Hey buddy, give me a break! You got Krate all wrong, yeah?"

Maximoff Tiberius Krate is man of the people. I make labor frames for the workers. I sell cheap so people keep more money in pocket.

You need tools? I have tools.

Image

I sell to you machete and flamethrower...for weed control.

Image

I sell to you double barrel automatic shotgun with drum-fed flechettes...for pest control and sportsman hunting.

Image

I sell to you gyroscopic stabilized solid fuel rocket propelled vibro scythe....for agricultural harvesting.

You need tools? KЯATE give you tools. What you do with them up to you.

You buy, yeah?
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Re: In Old Country, Krate stand on YOU!

Postby Atavism » Tue Mar 10, 2015 10:15 pm

.
.
.
<<< Incoming Message >>>
--- From "Chet" (Bigdogg@Twankmail -103.23,589.98,54.32) ---
--- Header: Mod Job ---

Hey man this is the Chet man u don't know me but I hear about u alot because Chet works at Twanks LLC and there trying to find u real bad anyway thats not why Chets writing u

The Chet man saw ur Chib design and Chet is real empressed with what u did one of those old B-022 Powered Task Assist frames man u dont see people really bothering to fix up those things anymore because it costs so much to find parts and keep those things up but Chet can tell u really care about ur old frame man

The Chet man is real empressed man real empressed u retrofitted those Chub stock model arms onto the pilot module and even fit a compact power pack to cut the backpack weight off the frame and make room for those aftermarket jump-jets are those AstroMax brand because u probably want to replace them with something different if they are Chet had some real problems with that brand and theyre jerks besides but anyway Chets real empressed those thing climb real good anyway and those jets will really make the difference

The Chet man is real glad he got to see a real pro at restoring and modding old frames it just makes Chet sad because you made General Twankus so mad man and Chet cant judge he gave Chet a new start and hes a real cool guy when hes not so mad and were gonna have to kill u now and like Chet said it makes Chet sad because Chet loves mod culture man and u are a tru pro and Chet thinks that in a different reality Chet could have called you a homie

Take care man and hide good maybe thisll blow over and u can meet up with Chet later man

later

-The Chet Man
"I'm the Big Dogg!"


---
.
.
.
.
<<<end transmission>>>
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Re: In Old Country, Krate stand on YOU!

Postby Xand0r » Wed Mar 11, 2015 11:29 am

Great stuff. I love your photo backdrop, also. :)
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Re: In Old Country, Krate stand on YOU!

Postby Kazud » Wed Mar 11, 2015 11:59 pm

You guys are killing me keep it going, please.
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Re: In Old Country, Krate stand on YOU!

Postby Sovietshadow » Thu Mar 12, 2015 4:45 pm

More proof that a russian accent makes any gun related thing funnier :D
I realy like that second build
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Re: In Old Country, Krate stand on YOU!

Postby Red_Robot » Wed Apr 01, 2015 3:26 am

KЯATE HACKWOЯX PЯODUKT ЯESPONSE

Okay, first thing.

Some people say to me, they say, “Hey Krate, you in budget market. You sell dinky frame. Think big frame sexy.”

I say, “Hey buddy, what you trying to hide?”

Sure, Krate sell frame cheap. But Krate -full- size frame. Krate size of ST-02 Conscript. I sell to you full size frame at little frame price. Krate not munchkin. Krate full grown tin man.

Some people say to me, they say, “Hey Krate, you make frame with no guns. Guns big time horror show. Dakka make sexy.”

I say, “Hey buddy, you compensating for something, yeah?”

What most dangerous tool in Human history? I tell you. Human hand with opposable thumb. Hand throw rock. Hand hold knife. Hand hold gun. Hand build frame.

Krate frame come with -two- hands. Standard. No extra charge.

Image

What you do with gun arm when run out of bullets? Wave goodbye! Frame not even able to bend over, grab ankles.

What you do when Krate run out of bullets? Drop gun. Pick up new gun. Pick up crowbar. Heck, can even flip other guy bird. You know, finger.

You want heavy armed. Krate heavy armed. Heavy handed too.

Some people say to me, they say, “Hey Krate, have trouble with ankle-biters. Little frame go trundle-trundle-trundle, get in blind spot. Saw off legs. You fix, yeah?”

You need security? You need defense?

Okay. I sell to you.

Take a look at my big unit.

Spoiler: show
Image


This Weaponized Inflammable Ejector Neutralizing Enemy Response

Now you really packing heat.

Yuri, he say to me, he say, “Hey Krate, you should call this Directed Incinerator Cannon on Krates.”

I say to Yuri, “Don’t.”

That kid. Sometimes...I just don’t know.

Krate big time frame, at small time price.

In old country there is saying. You go out in Krate, or come home in box.

You see what I did there?

No, I changed it. Is not same.

You buy, yeah?
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Re: In Old Country, Krate stand on YOU!

Postby Atavism » Wed Apr 01, 2015 4:43 pm

That's the most glorious framewiener I've seen since A. Yates when all Anime that one time...
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Re: In Old Country, Krate stand on YOU!

Postby Red_Robot » Fri Apr 03, 2015 3:49 pm

Well I had to have something to post on April Fools Day.

...Ah yes...Yates' Hentai frame. The most creative use of LEGO cherries I had ever seen.
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Re: In Old Country, Krate stand on YOU!

Postby FrostCollar » Fri Apr 03, 2015 5:42 pm

You mean we can't actually order Krate's big unit?! Talk about false advertising.
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Re: In Old Country, Krate stand on YOU!

Postby FragsturBait » Sat Apr 04, 2015 4:07 am

Pressurized Engulfing Napalm Inflammation System was another popular name in test groups.
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Re: In Old Country, Krate stand on YOU!

Postby Red_Robot » Sun Apr 05, 2015 4:56 am

FrostCollar wrote:You mean we can't actually order Krate's big unit?! Talk about false advertising.


I'm pretty sure the phrase "not for sale" has never passed M.T. Krate's lips.

FragsturBait wrote:Pressurized Engulfing Napalm Inflammation System was another popular name in test groups.


Ho boy... You've been talking to Yuri, haven't you?
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